Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Referendum Songbook, final post. Wednesday: Classic Car (The Always Look Underneath Song)

This is the final song (number 17) in the Referendum Songbook which you can find in full if you're a glutton for punishment at referendumsongbook.blogspot.com.

It's by Scar Quilse, that renegade relation of mine, and will be his last posting. It finds him in reflective mood, I suppose. 

This is my own final post of the referendum campaign. I think I've said all I need to say. I don't believe many, at this stage, are still undecided, but to sum up my thoughts: 

I'm Scottish, British, European, and a proud resident of and enthusiast for Shetland. I believe in democracy for the whole of the UK, in justice for everyone from Unst to the Scilly Isles. I'm in favour of local empowerment in a Federal UK, and I'll be voting for a Labour Government at the next election, which is the country's main hope of that being delivered. I believe the Yes campaign has been based, noisily and committedly, on romance, deception and delusion. I believe Scottish nationalism has no moral content, and has hijacked its social justice agenda in a naked attempt at achieving power. I detest the way this campaign has divided the population of Scotland, and how the Yes campaign has descended into mobbing, flailing and aggression. 

I believe that independence would be a disaster for Scotland's NHS, for its economy, for its relationships with the rest of the world, for its soul.

I'm travelling for most of the 17th and 18th, so I won't be responding to comments on this blog. I have already voted 'no' by post. I urge you, if haven't already, to vote 'no'. For the sake of Scotland and the UK

Finally, to those of you who have threatened, insulted, demanded an end to my broadcasting career, promised that I would be deported or silenced in a 'new Scotland', abused my family and worse....what can I say?

 I'll buy you a pint sometime.

Classic Car (The Always Look Underneath Song)

Always wanted an S type Jaguar
It’s wasn’t the old man’s favourite car
That was a Cortina 1600E to tell the truth
Olympic Gold, with Rostyle wheels and a black vinyl roof
But we travelled in old VX490s, Vivas
Drove to the Gospel Hall, we true believers
Where the preachers said the devil was a trickster
Who seduced us with Vauxhalls, with Crestas and Victors


A classic car
memory and pride
More than just a ride
A classic car
It’s the life you never had
Better than  your dad’s
A classic car


I bought a Wolseley, expecting it to smell
Like  I was 10, in a taxi to a Largs  hotel
But it reeked of damp and mildew, of fibreglass and rust
On the A80 in Moodiesburn, it finally bit the dust
You can’t go back, you can’t return
To when it didn’t matter how much fuel you burned
When smoking was good for your health
And you could let the babies sleep upon the parcel shelf


You can’t go back, maybe remembering is sweet
But history is what we learn so we don’t have to repeat
Build a useless border, sing some songs and raise a flag
Then from some wide-boy dealer, you buy a bodged-up deathtrap Jag
It looked great in the showroom, it filled your heart with pride
All your limousine ambitions that could not be denied
The deal is done, the trouble starts, you’re in a world of pain
And you realise that you can’t go back, you can’t go back home again

Copyright Scar Quilse 2014. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Referendum Songbook, final week. Tuesday: Scottish Forever (The Disagreement Song)

I’m a Tunnocks Teacake, you’re salt and sauce
You like cowping your caber, I couldn’t give a toss
I’m in favour of the great salt and vinegar snog
You prefer to cuddle up with a Caramel Log

We share a love of the great Vindaloo
And a nan bread each, never one between two
I’m Lagavulin or Ardbeg, you’re Glenlivet or Grants
I wear breeks, you like a kilt with stout underpants

And we’ll be Scottish forever
Agreeing never
No matter where we go
Yes or No

I’ll have Loch Lomond, you can have Loch Ness
We’ll share the monster and the wallabies, that’s probably best
Tennents or McEwens, Belhaven or Deuchars
I’ll have porridge with salt, you can have yours with sugar

I’ll just say this, we disagree
It’s Yes for you and No for me
But that’s all right, I have no doubt
I’ll be fine once the stitches get taken out

I’m for pan fried scallops, you’re into Scampi Fries
I prefer the real thing, you prefer the lies
I’m not saying I’m right, I’m not saying you’re wrong

Actually, I am. I’ve been right all along

Words and music copyright Scar Quilse 2014. All rights reserved.